Monday, February 27, 2006

florida or mariannes backyard its all the same to me...

so i was gonna be in fla for a few days, but im still here in flotown...enjoying a mommys weekend off...im living in my dearest friends backyard for 4 days. getting lots of reading done, writting accomplished, drawings drawn, songs written, tea drank, road trips driven, dreadlocks seperated, toenails cut, dreams dreamed, thoughts thunk, dances danced, you know all the stuff you say your gonna do every day, but find a way to avoid it....tending....rock is the most lovely man on the face of the earth, im convinced...what other husband would let thier wife go sleep in someones back yard for 4 days, while they took care of the 3 year old question box????he is supppppa! and sexy to boot....hehehe blushing...
today im going to hartsville to see jessi at the midnight rooster...drink some coffee, read somemore...whatever...then well i dont know from there....i woke up this morning, ripped open the rv curtians, and took in the field behind m.a's house...ahhhhh. im reading by the river peidra i sat and wept...very interesting book written by the author of the alchemist...also a very good book...
tomorrow, who knows maybe a trip to asheville for the day if it isnt snowing up there...i would like to drive somewhere really warm, and dive into the ocean, but southern fla is quite a drive for only 2 and a half more days....my hair needs salt water....i need sand to squish in my toes, water to wash my soul, and sunshine to kiss my skin....ahhhh...im dreaming of summer...why dont i migrate like birds??? it would be lovely if we could grow wings if noly just for the winter long enough to get to mexico...like the great monarch butterfly....love like mad, flap our wings....and fly back....
my dad and i drove to charleston yesterday...went to riverbluff fellowship in chucktown, visited a friend of his at musc, and drove through our old homeotown of goose creek....my skin felt like it was gonna fall off...i think of a face when im there....the grass holds this persons essence...the air smells like them. the buildings were built for them...the roads were paved for them...the trees whisper back and forth about where they are....and i expect at every corner to see them...they are the driver and passenger in every car, and it wrecks my sences....i cant do that very often, it is a test of my faithfullness, a test of my will, a test of my heart...i have loved before...long ago, and with eveything...letting go is gradual and painfull, and until it happens completly we let it rest, make it a part of us, and shine brighter...i left peices of me...i will gather them...they always come back tired and worn out, begging for water, and a place to sleep...
so today ill go somewhere un-laden...somewhere with only semi memeories...with nothing painfull attached...ill let the peices that found their way back last night rest...ill let the spirit take them and explain the rest...why these things still hurt, why i have to be...what that involves...who that effects. taking off our yokes to put on the light one of Yeshua...one of honesty, one of gentleness, one of awareness....things i can not give myself, things i dont understand at all...i need...i need...i need....but i have recieved, so now....i must give.... give.... give....

today like rain or wind or weeds,
tomorrow like dreams or wishes or pleads.
this breath this beat this step this vow,
i hold it high above my brow.
let fire now take what i cant hold,
let water make warm whats turning cold.
a word of prayer on tightened tounge,
a breath of air from sighing lung.
hard like land yet soft like earth
another moment another birth.

all my love in a little tin can.
bec.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

been so bad....

ack, it has been forever since ive written....anything...emails, blogs, messages....arghhhh...i havent been online as much lately....that is porbably a good thing.....gift card conspiracy day was good, i took rock out for sushi dinner....ummmm...it was ok...lots of squid and seaweed....errrrr....
today its just me and lilli, tonight rock and the fellers will be playing....they rock it out....fo sure...
well, now i feel better, ive written and posted apic of sushi....whatelse is there?
b.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

jims great pic....

you gotta go see jims rockin picture in a hula skirt, check it out. he is in my links column, jim the dreamer....hahahaha..i totaly took this pic in our dinning room....he is a riot....

m.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

kind of short and sweet...

this one is for sarah, we pretty much covered the main resons why i chose to call the almighty what i do....i think we toss the name G*d around like a sack of potatoes some times...it is very easy to use the name, and not think about the power behind that name.....when i utter the name Yahweh, it makes me stop and think even if only for a moment....it is a strange name to hear to those of us not of jewish decent...so it catches attentions too...and it is a beautiful way to start a conversation with someone who is far more open to talk to you about Yahweh than the "god" they HEAR about way too much and never SEE...does that make sence??? when i refer to Jesus as yeshua...well actually i have a more personal reason for that....when i can call him by the name that he was actually called in his earthly life, i feel like i am speaking more personally of him....it is like say i have a french friend named lionel....in english we would say it like you see it....like lionel richie....right....but in french you would pronounce it completely diffrent....it would sound more like "yonel"....it puts a bit more of him into perspective...and in the case of Yeshua a bit more of his humanness into the mix....still with me? so basically they are just personal choices that i have made, i dont expect anyone to agree with me, or change their minds. this is just where my feet are right now...
like i said, we have already pretty much talked about this, but i wanted to get it down too....i think scott was little curious also...by the way scott your blogs are very interesting....make me think make me think....thanks for the link....