Monday, February 27, 2006

florida or mariannes backyard its all the same to me...

so i was gonna be in fla for a few days, but im still here in flotown...enjoying a mommys weekend off...im living in my dearest friends backyard for 4 days. getting lots of reading done, writting accomplished, drawings drawn, songs written, tea drank, road trips driven, dreadlocks seperated, toenails cut, dreams dreamed, thoughts thunk, dances danced, you know all the stuff you say your gonna do every day, but find a way to avoid it....tending....rock is the most lovely man on the face of the earth, im convinced...what other husband would let thier wife go sleep in someones back yard for 4 days, while they took care of the 3 year old question box????he is supppppa! and sexy to boot....hehehe blushing...
today im going to hartsville to see jessi at the midnight rooster...drink some coffee, read somemore...whatever...then well i dont know from there....i woke up this morning, ripped open the rv curtians, and took in the field behind m.a's house...ahhhhh. im reading by the river peidra i sat and wept...very interesting book written by the author of the alchemist...also a very good book...
tomorrow, who knows maybe a trip to asheville for the day if it isnt snowing up there...i would like to drive somewhere really warm, and dive into the ocean, but southern fla is quite a drive for only 2 and a half more days....my hair needs salt water....i need sand to squish in my toes, water to wash my soul, and sunshine to kiss my skin....ahhhh...im dreaming of summer...why dont i migrate like birds??? it would be lovely if we could grow wings if noly just for the winter long enough to get to mexico...like the great monarch butterfly....love like mad, flap our wings....and fly back....
my dad and i drove to charleston yesterday...went to riverbluff fellowship in chucktown, visited a friend of his at musc, and drove through our old homeotown of goose creek....my skin felt like it was gonna fall off...i think of a face when im there....the grass holds this persons essence...the air smells like them. the buildings were built for them...the roads were paved for them...the trees whisper back and forth about where they are....and i expect at every corner to see them...they are the driver and passenger in every car, and it wrecks my sences....i cant do that very often, it is a test of my faithfullness, a test of my will, a test of my heart...i have loved before...long ago, and with eveything...letting go is gradual and painfull, and until it happens completly we let it rest, make it a part of us, and shine brighter...i left peices of me...i will gather them...they always come back tired and worn out, begging for water, and a place to sleep...
so today ill go somewhere un-laden...somewhere with only semi memeories...with nothing painfull attached...ill let the peices that found their way back last night rest...ill let the spirit take them and explain the rest...why these things still hurt, why i have to be...what that involves...who that effects. taking off our yokes to put on the light one of Yeshua...one of honesty, one of gentleness, one of awareness....things i can not give myself, things i dont understand at all...i need...i need...i need....but i have recieved, so now....i must give.... give.... give....

today like rain or wind or weeds,
tomorrow like dreams or wishes or pleads.
this breath this beat this step this vow,
i hold it high above my brow.
let fire now take what i cant hold,
let water make warm whats turning cold.
a word of prayer on tightened tounge,
a breath of air from sighing lung.
hard like land yet soft like earth
another moment another birth.

all my love in a little tin can.
bec.

3 comments:

Jim said...

becky i love you, but youre a hippie. ha ha.

rebecca said...

what on earth do you mean jim??? why do i keep hearing that??im just a becky...im gonna pull a rock and cut off all my hair and refuse to be seen near vw busses for a year, and never ever seem interested in anything remotely jam-banish....and if asked if im a hippy, ill become very upset, and break something....hahaha....

Mr. South Carolina said...

Becky, I love the post. I feel the same way. Jana will be off to chas. this thurs-sun so im thinking of going to caesar's head to hike and reflect w/ God. I wish I could do what you do. I'm torn between the govt job and all that comes with it (city life, rush, rush rush) that I love (I believe God put me here), and the simple life that I'd also like to live. I think that's why I'm having a hard time deciding about coming to work in Florence. I feel that if I did, I would be telling God that He's not enough to sustain me. Well, I'll get off my soapbox now.