Wednesday, January 05, 2011
So ive been sort of in and out of the funk already this winter.....stupid cold funk....that along with some pretty major life changes have put my head into a bit of a spin. My insecurity level is just about to peak out at 1075%. I generally wake up with a wandering around in the dessert sort of feeling. I have no doubt that this is exactly where i am supposed to be right now, but my tear ducts are definitely tired. I have found myself being ridiculously sensitive about things that normally I would blow off like a feather. My faith isn't shaken, more my identity. I know the two go hand in hand, but when i say identity I mean more like the what the heck am i doing, what do i love, what do i have to offer sort of thing. Once someone told me that shouldn't be a question " you are a mother and wife" well anyone who knows me knows that one really got the house a rocking! It is true, i am a mother, and a wife, but what happens when a new season of my life comes to play and i have not fostered the woman i was created to be? And how can i be available to the people in my life if I am not fully here? So this season of healing will also come with a deep rooted questioning. I am scared shitless! I haven't done this in a long time! But i guess that is all the more reason for it. If you see me crying please hug me. It passes pretty fast, and i normally follow with a laugh.