So I deactivated my facebook account about 4 days ago. I have done this once before with a great deal of wonderful consequences, such as books were read, songs were written, house was cleaned....etc.. etc....It was awful for the first 3 days....Just like coming off of any substance I went through withdrawals. Facebook is no different. It releases all sorts of chemicals into my brain, telling me that I need to constantly post about what I eat, where I am, what I will be doing, how I feel about the world, what my favorite color is....you know stuff no one cares about on a daily basis. While I can normally resist the urges to post about bodily functions, don't think for a second that my mind isn't racing in status updates as I am sitting on the toilet! So I am admitting it, I have a problem. But I don't think I am the only one.
I think lots of interwebbers have facebookitis! You may not see us every day, or hear from us. But we are there, spending hours scanning the profile updates of people we haven't seen in years, silently commenting to ourselves about what we should say to that offensive slur posted by a "friend", pilfering through photos of people we don't know comparing the size of our thighs and breasts and levels of fun. Don't lie to yourself and say you haven't at least once. And if you haven't, well.....good for you, you have transcended! I covet your level of maturity and self-control!
But until I reach the sacred 7th ring of mental clarity I will be absent from the scrolling updates of my own narcissistic banter.
So instead I will do the next best thing.....I will ramble narcissistically here on my very on blog! :)
I will type out my feelings, what I am doing, what I am eating.....I may stay away from bowel movements for now.....maybe.
I hope at some point to see some resemblance of my true self. Not the one who has been watered down and muddied by constantly subjecting myself to everyone and everything at all times.
I know this post sounds horribly selfish, and absorbed, but I am going to be gentle with myself, because well.....I am having facebook withdrawals.