Sunday, May 09, 2010

check yo self!

so today is mothers day. yep....yay us. "achem" (clears throat, wipes tear from eye). well, i am here with my kids and dad is gone....i am still dealing, dont let my over enthusiasm for the day fool serious.....anyways.

so today is "thanktheLorditischurchday" we have been attending newspring church......(go to for a few months now, and we freakin love it! so anyways i have been confronted with something so revolutionary, so spectacular, so unbelievably life really? i can act fool for Jesus in church because those people understand. okay, did you get that? it seems simple, but it really isnt. see, so here is my background. i am a preachers kid. i know (insert stupid remark about stereotypical preachers kids here).....ok, now take stupid remark and stick it in your, just keep it to yourself, stereotypes dont help anybody. so back to my point....i have never felt free to be in church service, i actually feel freer to get wild in worship in my car. why is this you may ask? well....when you grow up in very fundamental churches where stepping out of line is sacrilege you begin to actually believe it is truth...and the people you should be able to be free with, because they understand become a room full of pointing fingers and glaring eyes.....please understand i dont think this is the way it is in all churches, but you know you have probably been in one or two. but for the past couple of weeks i have been dealing with this, just enjoying the movement of the spirit. there are mornings i want to dance, and laugh, but my self holds me back.....silly self. but it is like perry noble said a while back, the people here are supposed to be for us. we dont have to hide our passion for Christ here. i dont want to hide my passion for Jesus anywhere! now, here is the kicker, if there is one thing i have learned in this life it is that, we only see in others what we understand in ourselves, so if i feel like people might be judging my actions or considering me foolish for worshiping the Lord it! ba! baaa!.......BECAUSE I AM INCLINED TO JUDGE OTHERS! ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. check myself! that is right, i am not guilt free here! it is my own judgement that is holding me back. so this is where it begins, me being made aware of my own judgmental tendencies, and giving them up to be done with that mess, in whatever form it has been manifesting in my life.....i love being poked at with the spirit stick....know why? because that means something is gonna happen.....i freakin' Love the hope we have in Jesus!

so this week, i plan to worship selflessly, and enjoy others expressing their love and passions, however wacky it may seem. why? because i wanna love like Jesus!



Libby said...

I hear ya on that one girl! Our church here in asheville is amazing that way. We are all about some through down, crazy praise!! And I love every minute of it!!

In fact I love it so much...I lead praise & worship with our kids ministry. I am determined to have them NOT grow up like me, thinking it was bad to sing too loud, or dance too wild. And these kids soak it up like sponges. I love to look out and see one of my girls just lovin' on Jesus by singing him a song straight from their heart.

That freedom is the most incredible feeling in this world!

MadHatter said...

I so get what you are saying. My own Mrs. America talent would be judging people--and I am beginning to get that it is my own insecurity bouncing around the room and then sticking back to me bigger and yuckier than it left.

I will still be raising my hands in my car more than in church for now, its a process....

rebecca said...

HAHAHAHA! girl you crack me up.....if i see your car in a ditch while driving through town i will just grin and nod knowing you were just raising you hands while at the wheel....i am a strict car dancer. the drivers around me honk as i slow down and speed up, then cut donuts on the 4 lane roads. it is brilliant!